I got a job! Yes, 13 months after being made redundant, a global pandemic, hundreds of job applications, zoom interviews, socially distanced face to face interviews, application ghosting and so many rejection letters. I have a job.
I can’t express the relief I feel to have a job, something to do every day and INCOME! I have an income!! It feels great.
What I didn’t expect though was such a wide range of emotions after I was given the job. Here’s what I went through, why it took me so long to process it and the reason I haven’t been around for a while…
When my new boss told me I got the job, I had to get him to repeat it. My brain couldn’t process those words. I had a years worth of practice listening to rejection so when I heard something positive, I couldn’t process it.
I went straight to my friend’s house and told her. She was so excited for me. But it took me an additional 2 hours to tell my family.
I just couldn’t get my head around it. Plus, I have the worst track record in the world. So I thought my bad luck would throw me a curveball but it didn’t.
My anxiety took over for a few days and I stepped into a stage of Denial. I just couldn’t believe it. I was so used to being unemployed that I had gotten really used to my routine.
It took me 2 days to tell my friends and 4 days to announce it on social media. I thought that by actually announcing it to everyone, that it might help me realise that this was actually happening.
It was never a secret, it was just a big change.
Once the announcements were done and I had made the transition…real, I started to feel very overwhelmed.
I was about to start a new job and all these emotions were getting on top of me. I really buried my head in the sand for a few days. I didn’t really speak to anyone and just tried to keep myself calm.
On top of everything I was feeling, I then started to doubt if I could do the job at all. I’ve always had issues with my confidence. I was starting a whole new career, in a new whole new industry and I was doubting my ability to do it.
I just had to keep telling myself “I’ll never actually know until I give it a go”, “I wouldn’t have applied if I didn’t think I could do it” and “My boss wouldn’t have hired me if I wasn’t the best of the bunch”.
I had so many unanswered questions which started to build up in my head. “What will my coworkers be like?”, “What do I wear?”, “What do I take for my lunches?”, “Do I need to bring anything?”.
The more questions, the more anxious I was getting.
I was really anxious about my work clothes and ended up buying so many new items just so I would feel more comfortable.
Two days before my new job started, I went deep into panic mode. I was stressed out about a lot of things, worrying about getting up early, the new drive to work, getting there on time.
I was panic buying new clothes, setting several alarms to make sure I got up on time, memorizing my route. I had a lot going on.
I felt being overly organized was the only way to get through it. I made a to-do list and was working through it day by day. I took time off social media to concentrate on my tasks and emotions.
The night before my new job started, I finally felt excited!
Excited to have something to do tomorrow, to see new people, to have conversations with other people, to be creative, to come up with new ideas and to drive to work.
Everything I was worried about finally turned into excitement. About time.
2 weeks later
I’ve now been working at my new job for 2 weeks and I look back at this journey as an emotional rollercoaster. Nothing prepared me for this. It was just a case of strapping in and taking it all day by day.
I LOVE my new job and I bloody good at it.
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Have you gone through any of these emotions when you got a new job?Let me know in the comments below!